GOOD SELF BAD SELF PDF
Good Self, Bad Self by Judy Smith - From the real-life crisis expert who inspired ABC's weinratgeber.infone must learn to live with personal missteps. Whether. Good Self, Bad Self and millions of other books are available for instant access. Good Self, Bad Self: How to Bounce Back from a Personal Crisis Paperback – October 15, From the real-life crisis expert who inspired ABC’s Scandal. Download this significant ebook and read on the Good Self Bad Self Judy Smith Pdf Ebook ebook. You will not find this ebook anywhere online. See the any.
|Language:||English, Spanish, Dutch|
|ePub File Size:||MB|
|PDF File Size:||MB|
|Distribution:||Free* [*Regsitration Required]|
GOOD SELF BAD SELF JUDY SMITH PDF - In this site isn`t the same as a solution manual you download in a book store or download off the web. Our. Over Get Free Read & Download Files Good Self Bad Self PDF. GOOD SELF BAD SELF. Download: Good Self Bad Self. GOOD SELF BAD SELF - In this site isn`t the. Good Self, Bad Self: How to Bounce Back from a Personal Crisis ePub ( In Good Self, Bad Self, Smith shares her methods, gleaned from years of professional.
Taking that deep breath will give you some time until your feelings are tempered. Second: Write an old-fashioned list of pros and cons for the possible responses you are considering. I am a big fan of lists. This will help you determine exactly what you are trying to accomplish by taking a particular course of action, and in the time it takes to write the list, your emotions will calm down, allowing your rational side to emerge.
Who won the award, of course, was not his decision to make. They should be. Recognizing that the root of certain behaviors is an ego run amok is the only way to get back in a more productive ego balance. You would probably not be shocked to learn that a recent study by Celebrity Rehab host Dr.
Drew Pinsky found that celebrities are significantly more narcissistic than the general population, after he had a sample of two hundred celebrities complete the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, a test measuring self-absorption. Persevering to get where you are in the case of a musician, playing in small clubs and dusty dives, gradually honing your art and paying your dues makes you more likely to have a manageable ego than someone who has catapulted to prominence without developing meaningful skills.
I will always thank my parents for conveying to me that working hard is essential.
My parents taught me to treat everyone the same: with respect. My mom was an administrative assistant who cleaned office buildings at night. Once when I was little she took me to work with her; I was annoyed and a little embarrassed that my mom was the one pushing the vacuum cleaner. I had to earn it. Weiner was hugely popular among his constituents—he won seven terms and more than 58 percent of the vote every time.
The ego that gave him confidence and allowed him to make a bid for office at such a young age and defeat far better-known candidates is the same ego that fueled his fiery, flamboyant demeanor and caused him to lose perspective.
As you would have to have been in a coma not to know, Weiner tweeted photos of himself in his underwear to at least one young woman. He was supposedly happily married, with a baby on the way. Nonetheless, Weiner had text or phone dalliances with at least five other women.
Finally, when his reputation was thoroughly tarnished, he held a tearful press conference during which he owned up to sending the pictures. Some of us are simply hardwired to get off on risky behavior. Then he scanned their brains as they evaluated whether to download or sell certain stocks. The higher the risk entailed in the decisions the traders needed to make, the more activity was visible in the pleasure centers of their brains on the MRI.
That leads to a certain sense that you are not subject to the same pitfalls as others, or that you are so good you will not get caught. That is really a form of ego. Politics itself is a risky business, and you need a certain amount of healthy ego to believe you can serve others, put yourself out there, and get elected. The problem was that this same too-healthy ego blinded him to the fact that he would inevitably get caught and would lose everything as a result.
He thought himself above risk a form of denial we discuss in the next chapter. And losing everything is exactly what ended up happening. Without positive feedback, his sense of self flounders. Being dependent on the praise of others is a very precarious way to live, and I see that in some of my work.
Some people spend an inordinate amount of time and effort cultivating people to tell them how attractive and brilliant they are. We see this all the time in parents. Parents with fragile high self-esteem often seek ego gratification through their kids, feeding off the praise and achievements of their offspring.
Serena secretly decided when her kids were only infants that she wanted them to go to Ivy League schools. Despite the fact that her son really liked Carleton, Grinnell, and Macalester—superb small schools not far from home—Serena kept pushing him to apply to the Ivies. She believed with all her heart that it was about setting Henry up for success in the world and that he would thrive at Princeton or University of Pennsylvania or Cornell.
Serena pushed him and nagged him about it to the extent that he felt alienated from her, and was even less likely to consider her point of view. Her blindness to what her ego was doing to her outlook and opinions made her feel anxious and powerless.
Do you want your child to have friends from socially prominent or attractive families mainly because you feel that his associations will reflect well on you? Any pursuit in which a parent lives through his or her kid tends to be an unhealthy instance of egotism.
How to Bounce Back from a Personal Crisis
Ego-driven Tendency 4: Overreacting and Catastrophizing Another manifestation of ego is overreacting. The ego can be a frail thing indeed and people with a massive ego tend to protect and defend it at all costs.
Excessive ego fuels emotional states that are prone to overreaction.
Her emotional responses to confrontation and dissatisfaction in her life most likely stem from a warped perspective caused by an inflated self-importance. People with inflated self-importance will tend to view every circumstance, frustration, or dispute as a personal affront to their identity, which needs to be defended—sometimes even in violent ways. In , Naomi Campbell was involved in a highly publicized scandal in which she was arrested for second-degree assault against her maid.
The housekeeper alleged that Campbell accused her of stealing a missing pair of jeans … and then threw a cell phone at her, hitting her on the head. Campbell initially pleaded not guilty to the charges and claimed that she believed that the maid was retaliating for being fired earlier that day.
But this was not the first time Campbell had been accused of assault using this MO. Back in , Campbell was sued by a former assistant who alleged that two years earlier, the supermodel had assaulted her during a fit of rage. She accused Campbell of throwing a cell phone at her in a Beverly Hills hotel.
According to various news publications, the assistant claimed that she was grabbed by the arms and thrown down on the couch. Media outlets also reported, in a separate incident, in February , that Campbell pleaded guilty in Toronto to assaulting her assistant over the course of several days in Ironically, even when a reaction is spurred by a warped perspective, where people feel justified in their behavior, such as thinking they have been wronged in some way, they often have trouble accepting responsibility notice how denial and ego align themselves in fueling crisis situations.
They also are quick to tie unrelated events together and assign meaning to them. We are confident the courts will see it the same way. There is no doubt that celebrities are often targeted with litigious threats by those who want to strike it rich using the court of law.
She was also sentenced to five days of community service and ordered to attend an anger management program.
Too Good to Leave Too Bad to Stay: Summary in PDF
Like many with an out-of-whack ego, Campbell also seemed somewhat confused as to who was the real victim. After her arrest, instead of publicly showing concern for the person who required medical attention because of her outburst, she made sure to assuage the fears that people surely had for her well-being by coyly stating to the press that she was being treated fairly by the police.
The police have been very nice. This would not be the last time Campell would face legal repercussions for her actions. In She allegedly spat at the officers following an argument about her lost luggage.
I can attest to the frustration of being separated from your luggage, especially if it is at the fault of an airline, but a reaction to the circumstance should not result in arrest. It should be noted that Ms. Campbell, once the dust settled, would often issue apologies for her actions.
Her apologies may have rung hollow to more cynical types, though, considering that some sources say that the model had been accused of assault ten times over the course of a decade. The cell phone hit [the maid] … [but] this was an accident because [she] did not intend to hit her.
I take responsibility for the things that I have done, and I do feel a great sense of shame. I feel ashamed. Not only is this a waste of energy, but when everyone around you is caught up in the drama, others tend to share your perspective, not challenge it, which makes it harder to right yourself again.
I know a woman named Yvette. If she misplaces her wallet, the entire criminal underworld is probably charging up the credit cards. It seems that much of her distress is about pulling people into her own orbit, gaining sympathy and attention. She is just a drama queen, convinced that disaster is near. If you are prone to overreaction, either because you want to appear to be important, or because you need to draw others into your orbit like Yvette, the first thing to do is recognize your pattern.
Before you react, consider writing your thoughts down. Writing things down is a great way to gain perspective on them. Then ask yourself what your entrenched behavior is costing you. Am I really going to go bankrupt because my dishwasher broke?
If I come down with an iron fist to solve a problem, might I be causing more harm than good? Then answer yourself honestly. Ego-driven Tendency 5.
PDF Good Self Bad Self: How to Bounce Back from a Personal Crisis EBook
Failing to Own the Mistake People with big egos, in order to preserve that elevated sense of self, are often likely to avoid owning up to their errors, which compounds the problem and creates multilayered crises that can be hard to climb out of. A healthy ego can acknowledge a mistake. Happily, there are some examples in which a crisis resulting from an out-of-control ego or ego-driven decisions can be turned around. Look at Starbucks. Its leader Howard Schultz exhibited vision and hubris—both sides of the ego coin—with his continual drive toward expansion and disregard for costs and conventional wisdom.
The company started in with six coffee shops in Seattle, then grew to stores in and 3, in , when Schultz left his position as CEO. In , Schultz decided to return and take the reins again. In the eighteen months after he took the helm for the second time, Schultz closed hundreds of stores. It reminds me of the old days when our company was very creative, very entrepreneurial, and we were fighting for survival and respect.
The overall financial tides of the company began to turn. Schultz recognized that arrogance had driven the company off course and realized that it was essential to acknowledge their mistakes. The earlier you recognize and own a mistake, the smaller your crisis will be. This is just as true of people in positions of power in the workplace. It means being attuned to the facts, the circumstances, the players involved, and knowing how the issue is perceived by everyone involved, not simply adhering to your point of view in the face of constant opposition.
An ego out of control can be incredibly isolating, because inherent in the problem is the belief that you are right, which makes you less likely to seek out the perspective of others.
It can also lead to major crisis. That's just one example of how what makes people successful in life and in business can be the same trait that gets them into trouble. I came to this realization over many years. In fact, at age eleven I fixed my first interpersonal disaster, the tragic breakup of the "it" couple of my middle school in Washington, D. Let's call them Michele and Lloyd.
After the tween rumor mill had done its dirty work, Michele was positive that Lloyd kissed another girl. He steadfastly denied it. I had a reputation as a good listener and problem solver, so Lloyd came to me to plead his case.
After hearing his side, I was convinced he was telling the truth. I went to Michele and persuaded her that Lloyd was still her Prince Charming. The magic words I culled from Lloyd's verbal river of desperation? Only a fool would risk messing that up! When I repeated his sentiments to Michele, the crisis was over as quickly as it had begun.
She declared me her new best friend. I had saved their relationship … which lasted another week before they grew bored with each other. Michele and Lloyd were just a teaser of what was to come.
From there I moved on to my first corporate crisis involving a local company, Sam's Print Shop. Sam decided to cut funding for the after-school program held at the playground up the street. The playground director, Francine, sadly told all the parents and kids that softball, ballet, and tap were being eliminated.
The uproar was instantaneous. We kids were devastated to lose the activities we loved, as well as the justification we used to get away from our parents until dinnertime.
Our parents were traumatized to lose the unofficial neighborhood babysitting service. I decided to take action.
Over the next few days, I helped Francine come up with a plan that included producing flyers, going door-to-door with other kids to enlist neighbors in our cause, and petitioning other businesses to pick up the slack in funding the after-school program. Good Self, Bad Self Eventually Sam's kicked in a little money, so did the local dry cleaner, the supermarket, and a few other businesses.
With everyone pitching in and not so coincidentally, getting positive publicity for stepping up to help the kids , we kept the playground program alive. Account Options. And I still believe in that to this day. The Balancing Act Of all the lessons and strategies you'll learn in this book, perhaps the biggest one of all is simply this: A little good old-fashioned self-evaluation can keep you from ending up in the unfortunate position of some of the crisis-ridden folks you read about or see on TV.
This book isn't just for people in trouble. It's for anyone who wants to find and maintain success in his or her professional and personal life. My goal is to help you think about the elements that might keep you on track in your career and your relationships or help you get back on track if you've gone astray.
My book is for anyone and everyone who finds himself or herself getting in his or her own way. It's for people who want to know how to change the patterns that get them into trouble--sometimes that's a matter of looking forward with authenticity and introspection; sometimes it's a matter of working backward from the desired outcome to the crisis at hand. It's for people who let ego or pride get them into predicaments that feel out of their control, for people who consistently find themselves putting a foot in their mouth, for people who keep denying the truth--and it's even for people who just want to get ahead in life and learn how to harness their inner powers while keeping those same assets in check so they don't become liabilities.
It's for those who have a tendency to make bad situations worse inadvertently, or for those who struggle with making situations better. Although I have rarely found there to be only a single cause for the occurrence of a crisis--or for that matter only one solution--the root causes of most crises often lie in an imbalance in one of seven traits: All these attributes can be blessings as well as curses; they're positive qualities when you manage them well and usually create a crisis when you don't.
The momentum they provide can keep you moving forward in your career and in your life, but out of control they cause you to crash and burn. Some of us have many of these characteristics; some of us have only one or two. In any case, the key to avoiding personal and professional disaster is keeping all these properties in balance. I've been on the front lines and behind the scenes, managing myriad types of crises in the real world for decades, so my perspective is hands-on and realistic.
Later, I was a prosecutor and Special Assistant at the U. Attorney's office in Washingon, D. Bush; in the White House I worked on a huge variety of foreign and domestic issues, including the allegations of sexual harassment made by Anita Hill during Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court nomination hearings. I've worked on the Enron Congressional inquiry, advised Fortune companies, and assisted foreign governments ranging from Haiti to Zimbabwe to Saudi Arabia.
At any moment, we might receive a call from someone who needs help. At the drop of a hat, I rally the team and we sprint to the next plane. On the flight, we replay, reassess, and reanalyze that frenzied phone call. We never quite know what we're getting into: How deep does the problem go? Who are all the parties involved? What moves has the person in crisis made in an attempt to evade whatever it is he or she dreads so much?
One thing is for sure, there is never a dull moment around here. As we get to know the client, we help him or her craft a strategy and a path for the future. If the client just wants the problem to go away and doesn't want to look at the root causes of his or her predicament, my job is infinitely harder.
Managing scandals and crises may be the most sensational part of what I do, but it's not everything. My team and I have been involved in some of the largest health crises in modern history.I wish sometimes she would stress just a little bit more that it might be worth it to try this final solution: give your everything.
It was an amazing read for me and I can only recommend it. Published works[ edit ] Smith, Judy Campbell, once the dust settled, would often issue apologies for her actions.
Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Before you react, consider writing your thoughts down. Feel Free to Prosper: A survey of over 1, employees by Florida State University College of Business professor Wayne Hochwarter found that 31 percent of participants reported that their superior exaggerated his or her accomplishments to look good in front of others, 27 percent reported that their boss bragged to others to get praise, 25 percent reported that their boss or the person in charge had an inflated view of himself or herself, 24 percent reported that their boss was self-centered, and 20 percent reported that their boss would do a favor only if guaranteed one in return.
Your work life and quite possibly other areas of your life will improve if you take action.